


Wish you were here

by Heartbloodcharm



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4667141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartbloodcharm/pseuds/Heartbloodcharm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis's life isn't the best these days. The media had been running wild, as well as the fandom. It all starts to outgrow Louis, who tries to cope with all of this alone. Because this one person, that always made him feel better he can't talk to anymore, because he ruined everything with his behaviour. Or at least, Louis thinks so...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And I remember

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first Longfic about Harry and Louis ever.  
> My first longfic in english and on this website actually.   
> I'm no native speaker, so the text might contain grammar mistakes. Feel free to tell me, if you find some. 
> 
> The title is based on a song from Avril Lavigne and one special cover- version of it  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCQjxJUgTu8
> 
> Have fun reading :)   
> M

When he woke up, he felt his head itching. Great. What a pleasant start for a day like this.  
Louis rolled over to look at his alarm clock, just for recognising, that he was already too late for breakfast.

He tried to remember, what he had done the last night, but when it came back to his mind, he wished he had never thought of it.  
Of course he knew, what had kept him awake until dawn. Brianna, the baby, the fact the he was going to be a father.  
He off all people. Niall's words came to his mind, even though his friend hadn't had any bad intention when he told him two nights ago.  
"Tommo, you can barley look after yourself, partying and smoking almost every night, how do you wanna take care of a baby."  
Niall had got two very anxious looks from both, Liam and Harry but it had been to late.  
Since then, Louis had barley been able to thing about anything else.

His phone rang and he took it, without looking on the display. "Hm?"  
"Ey, Tommo, where are you? Don't tell me I woke you."  
Harry. His voice sounded slightly amused usually something, Louis really liked about his friend, but today it only made him sight ironically.   
"As if. Been awake already. Just give me a few minutes", he mumbled while getting out of bad, Harry's quiet laughter in his ear.  
"Stop laughing, idiot. Not everyone is awake at 8 o'clock every damn day."  
"We're in a bad mood today aren't we?" Harry asked, now a little pissed and hung up without a word.  
Louis groaned. He was awake for not even half an hour and he already made his best friend angry.  
"You're such an asshole", he muttered in the mirror, before he jumped in the shower.   
Somehow he managed to be downstairs for breakfast fifteen minutes later. The boys already helped themselves to coffee and toast and Liam shot him a knowing look, when their eyes met.  
"Long night?", he asked and Louis shrugged. It had been a long night indeed, but nut because of what Liam thought.  
Louis had had plans to go out with some friend from Doncaster, who had been on the concert last night, but he cancelled the plans, cause he had had already headache after the concert. 

Without a word he helped himself to black coffee. Nobody really wondered, because Louis usually needed some time before he was really awake in the morning.  
Only Harry seemed to be suspicious. He shot some questioning looks at Louis but he tried to ignore them.  
He couldn't tell Harry. Of all people, he was the last one.  
Not after everything that had happened over the years.

Not that they weren't still friends. To be honest, Louis still considered Harry his best friend, but still, there was so many unspoken material between them, that it was impossible to talk with Harry about what really bothered him.

After finishing their breakfast, Niall, Liam and Harry took off for a quick visit in the gym before their journey would continue from Chicago to Milwaukee.  
When Louis made his way back to his hotel room, to get a quick sleep before they would take off, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Tommo, you're alright?  
If you wanna talk, I'm there, you know?

Louis sighed and bit his lip.   
Of course Harry had noticed.   
And Louis would bet, that Harry also knew, what bothered Louis.  
It was his deepest wish, to talk to his friend, but it was impossible.  
Only the thought of telling Harry about his sorrows, made him swallow hard and he knew, he couldn't hold his shit together, when he would talk to Harry, looking in his eyes and knowing he was there, so close to him.

He didn't respond to Harry, even though the urge to talk to him was always to big to cope, but he resisted. Being to close to Harry had never ended well. For both of them.  
Louis sat on his bad and even though he was incredible tired, he wasn't able to get some sleep.  
At some point it seemed actually to have worked out anyways, because Louis woke up, when someone sat on the side of his hotel bad.  
He jumped and his heart stopped for a moment.  
"Jesus, Harry", he moaned and sat up. Harry looked at him with a sheepish smile on his face.  
"We tried to call you" Liam said from the door and grinned as amused as Harry.  
"Several times", he added and Louis shot them both an annoyed look.  
"Very funny boys. Is it already time?" he asked them and when they both nodded, he sighed again.  
"Fine. I'll be ready in a few minutes." Liam nodded with a last smile and went out of the door again.  
Harry indeed stayed.  
"You're already packed up?" Louis asked uncomfortably, because he still felt the need to tell Harry about all the things that bothered him.   
"Sure. Never unpacked really" Harry answered with a quick smile and suddenly layed down on Louis's bed his back over his friend's feet.

"You realise if some fans would ever caught us in such a situation, the whole fandom would run wild." Louis said, getting his feet away from Harry who giggled in a evil kind of way.  
"Would you leave all this damn rumours aside for a moment. It's annoying enough to always keep as much distance as possible to you, when we're in public. Damn it, Tommo, we lived together, we shared a hotel room for so long on tour, we used to talk about everything, what happened to that?"  
His voice sounded neutral, more neutral, than Louis would ever be able to.  
"Can we talk about this another time? I really need to pack", he said but Harry didn't seem to want to do, what Louis said.  
"You can talk while packing, can't you?" he asked gently and Louis sighed but couldn't stop himself from smiling at least a little.  
It was one of Harry's biggest gifts. He was able to make Louis smile in almost every situation, just with a look, a smile or a simple sentence he could make Louis' world a little better.  
Even tough it didn't last for long this time.

"Look I'm sorry, Hazza. Really. But everything... it's just a little too much these days, okay. Need some time to cope with all of it. Alone."  
It was a lie. Probably the biggest lie in years. He wasn't able to cope with any of what was going to come, alone.   
But he couldn't confess this in front of Harry. Not after everything that had happened.  
Harry had been so angry at Louis for several things. All the rumours in the media about several girlfriends and affairs that made the band look bad. The fights with Zayn and NaughtyBoy on Twitter, the pregnancy.  
Harry had hated all this, even threatened to leave, if all this wouldn't stop. The media had been running wild because of Louis the last weeks and not in a positive way.  
Usually, Louis behaved like he didn't care.  
But now, he was there, so done with everything feeling sick and tired of everything, but wasn't able to talk to the only person in this world that was able to make him feel better.

Harry shot Louis a long lasting look, that made him almost break down, but then stood up.  
"Fine. Just be careful that you won't loose control anymore" he said and now his voice was cold. These moments, when he had called in the morning and woke him up just a few minutes ago, where gone.  
"Hurry up, car is waiting" were the last words, before Harry left the room, leaving Louis alone, who had to swallow hard, to hold back his tears.


	2. All those crazy things you've said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter two.  
> I'm in kind of a writing flow here, so I hope you like this chapter.  
> M

When Louis sat in the car, next to Liam, he felt terrible.  
Harry was busy with his cell phone, probably texting a girl, not looking at him at all.  
He seemed like really pissed of by Louis' behaviour. Well, not that Louis wondered. Harry was right, he acted like an asshole lately. 

"We gonna meet up with some fans before the show" Liam said, checking their schedule for today on his cell phone.  
"Nice" Niall and Harry answered unison, while Louis only nodded. He wasn't in the mood to meet fans, but that didn't help right now.  
He tried to meet Harrys eyes, but he didn't even look up from his cell.  
"Hey, whom are you texting all morning?" Niall asked and Harry looked up. "Not of your interest", he said smiling and holding the cell phone up, so Niall couldn't get a look.  
"Do we have to know something?", now Liam started smiling knowingly but Harry just shook his head and winked. "As if I would ever hide something from you. You'd find out anyway, curious and pushy as all of you are."  
Now it was Louis looking down on his legs, trying to avoid any eye contact with anyone. He just wanted to go back to bed, even though he knew, it wouldn't help a thing either.

"You're sick or something?" Liam asked, when they made their way into the stadium and Louis shook his head. "Na, just tired, I guess", he answered and left for the toilette to get out of Liam's sight.   
When he came out again, he could see Harry, standing a few steps away from him, phoning with somebody.   
He didn't wanted to listen, but something made Louis stand still and wait.  
"We can meet up somewhere, if you want to", Harry just said und Louis wished, he wouldn't have listened. Of course his friend had been texting a girl all morning and now he wanted to go on a date with her.  
Somewhere deep inside Louis there was a silent pain. He hadn't felt it for a while, but now, where everything seemed to outgrow him and all the anger he had felt because Harry hadn't understood a thing of what Louis had done the last weeks, it was back again.  
"Don't worry, sweetheart. It's all gonna be alright." Harry hung up with these words, making the pain inside of Louis even worse, than turned around.  
"There you are. We need to go to the backstage area, meeting up with the fans." Harry said and he obviously had no idea, that Louis had listened to his phone call. Or at least he acted like this.  
Together, they made their way in silence and when Harry opened the door and rushed into the backstage area before Louis, their hands slightly touched. It was this soft touch that made Louis smile at least a little for a short moment.

Louis tried not to loose his smile as long as the fans were around. It was a bunch of hysterically excited girls all between 15 and 20 desperately trying to act cool around the four boys.  
They took some photos, talked and laughed with them and Louis almost forgot about his misery and started to look forward to the concert. The stadium was pretty cool and he still had this water bottle fight with Liam on.  
A thing, he wasn't so sure, Harry really liked. He had complained about being recognised less for their music, than for their childish behaviour, but had stopped with this a while ago.  
Louis had actually watched Harry smiling about Liam's and his little war, so he just hoped it wouldn't make things even worse.

 

"Hey, wake up, show starts in fifteen minutes, what the fuck is wrong with you?"  
Louis jumped, almost falling of the couch he had laid on, opening his eyes.  
"What the hell?", he mumbled still not really awake and looked at a pretty unnerved Harry.   
"Fuck, did I really fell asleep?" he asked and Harry shook his head.  
"Daah", he replied sounding a little like Michelle from Full House. Louis had to giggle at this thought and Harry tended his head.  
"What on earth is so funny. You almost overslept the start of the show", he said, but now he sounded not as pissed as before.  
"Sorry. Didn't get much sleep last night." Harry shrugged.  
"Honestly, Louis, when will you stop making party every damn night?", he asked annoyed and now it was Louis who got pissed.  
"I wasn't making party, my friend. I was in my damn room thinking about how fucked up my life is, if you really want to know."  
And with that he left a speechless Harry alone, making his way behind the stage to get his in- ears prepared for the show.  
Niall winked at him, already finished and waiting for the beginning.  
Harry showed up only moments after Louis still seeming confused and a little shocked.  
Louis couldn't stop himself from thinking, that he deserved it. At least a little.

Louis might now had been at his best the last weeks, but Harry wasn't in position to judge over him or his life either.  
When the concert started, Louis forgot about Harry and concentrated on the music. It was the best therapy ever, being on stage, looking at the screaming and dancing crowd made him feel alive.  
He smiled, laughed, chased Liam with his bottles of water and had senseless but funny conversations with Niall.  
Harry usually did his own thing on stage, something, he didn't meant to do but just happened.  
He once described it to Louis as a kind of rush, where he forgets everything around him.  
Louis liked watching Harry during the concerts. Not that he had ever told anyone, but it just made him happy in a strange kind of way to see his best friend like this.

Sadly the adrenalin of the concert didn't last for too long.  
When they drove back to the hotel, Niall and Liam were making plans for going out. "Tommo, you're coming, aren't you?" Niall asked with a wink and raised an eyebrow, when Louis shook his head.  
"Sorry, lads, but now. Still need to get more sleep, last night was horrible." He remembered that only Harry knew, that he hadn't been on a party so he shot him a quick look. When their eyes met there was something like a worried expression in his eyes, but he didn't say a word.  
"Sure you're not getting sick or something?" Niall asked now, but Louis shook his head again. "Let it go, Niall. I'm fine, okay. Next time, I'll come."  
"Fine." The blonde one nodded and went back to his conversation with Liam. When they asked Harry, if he wanted to come, he shook his head, too.  
"Sorry, I promised somebody, to meet up with him", he said vaguely and Liam grinned. "Oh, someone, so?"  
"Idiot. You'll see, it's just someone from the family who has... some problems."  
Now Liam stopped grinning and actually seemed to believe Harry. "Sorry, lad. Had no idea."   
"Don't be. It's all fine" Harry answered with a wink and leaned back to look out of the window.

Louis instead didn't believe him. Harry's family was not that big and he would have known for sure, if someone would have been here. Louis texted with Gemma, Harry's older sister every once in a while and she would have mentioned for sure, if something had happened.

Harry was meeting that girl, he had phoned with earlier this day, Louis just knew he was.  
And he knew it shouldn't bother him at all, but it it. It bothered him much.  
So he went to the elevator fast after leaving the limo and shortly wished Niall and Liam a fun night.  
They both seemed to wonder over his strange behaviour but didn't say a thing anymore.  
Harry was gone, even before the elevator reached the ground floor and opened its doors for Louis.  
"Great, just great."  
Back in his room he had a shockingly hard time, to try not to cry. He couldn't even remember when he had ever felt this bad.  
He laid down on his bed, fully dressed and pressed his hands over his aching forehead.  
He had no idea how long he had laid there until it knocked on the door...


	3. You left them ridding through my head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chap. 3 !  
> Little shorter than the other two, but I promise, the next one will be longer again ! :)

When he opened the door, blinking into the horrible neon light that was outside the hotel room, he was pretty surprised to find Harry there.  
"What the hell?" Louis asked but then he grabbed Harrys arm and pulled him into his room. He couldn't stand the light anymore.  
"Sorry for waking you up, lad", Harry started and Louis shook his head.  
"Never mind. I wasn't asleep anyway", he answered and sat down on his bed. He felt slightly nervous.  
"What makes you come here in the middle of the night, why did you left your date so early?"  
Harry looked at Louis in surprise. "What date?" he asked and sat net to Louis, so near, that their knees slightly touched each other.  
"The one you were phoning and texting with all day."  
"There was a time, when you simply asked me, with whom I was texting, you know?" Harry said silently suddenly sounding a little sad.  
Louis looked down on his feet. He knew, that there had been these days. And he knew they were gone. What he didn't know, was why.

"Tommo I had no date tonight. I was meeting up with Lottie."  
"Excuse me?"  
Now it was Louis, who looked extremely surprised. "My Lottie?" he asked and there was the short thought of Harry and Lottie being in love.  
There had been a time, when Lottie had had a major crush on Harry and Harry had always smiled a little too bright, when the talk had came on Lottie, but these days were gone as well.  
At least, Louis had thought so.  
"Of course your Lottie, how many do you know?" Now, Harry sounded amused and Louis looked at him again, still a little confused.  
"But... why?"

Harry looked at Louis, then down on his hands again.   
"Look, that is why I'm here..."  
And suddenly Louis' hands became cold and sweaty and his heart started beating way too fast. What had Harry and Lottie talked about.  
Thousands of possibilities came to Louis' mind. What, if Harry wanted to quit One Direction because of what Louis did the last weeks? What if Harry really was in love with Lottie? What if, what if, what if.  
"For heaven's sake, will you just say, what you have to say? This is making me crazy?" Louis couldn't stand the silence anymore and Harry seemed a little shocked because of Louis' raptures.  
"Louis I called Lottie, because I didn't know what else to do. I was worried about you. Man, you stopped talking to me, stopped talking to anyone since Zayn left. Lottie told me, that you haven't been any different with her, either."

Louis had to swallow hard. He had reckoned with much, but not this. Not Harry talking to his sister, because he was worried about him.  
All the time, he had thought, that Harry didn't care at all about how Louis was. Or that he believed that Louis was just about making party and having fun.  
He bit his lips, so he wouldn't start crying in front of Harry, but it didn't really worked out like it should.  
Louis turned away, but it was too late.  
He layed down on his hotel bed, the face covered in his hands and his eyes closed.  
"Louis, you need to talk with someone. With Lottie, or one of the lads, anyone. You can't do this alone anymore."  
Harrys voice was soft and it calmed Louis down at least a little.   
"The only one I always wanted to talk to, was you", he whispered and he felt his face blushing, right after he had said this words.  
"So why haven't you?" Harry asked Louis shook his head as an answer.  
He wasn't able to explain, probably because he was too busy, with stopping himself from crying.  
He was 23 one of the richest and most famous musicians in the world and now he was laying on his bed, crying like a baby and felt as helpless as never before.

When he felt a hand on his shoulder he let his hands sink and rolled to the side.   
He still couldn't look at Harry, but the warm hand, now on his back, made the world a little better.  
Harry waited until Louis calmed down and turned around, so he looked at him again.  
"Talk to me, please, Louis." Harrys voice was quiet but warm and it made Louis smile.  
"I thought, you hated me. For all the bullshit that happened, the thing with Zayn and Naughty Boy, the parties, the girls and the pregnancy."  
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Don't you ever talk about your child as bullshit", he said, now his voice almost severe.  
The words "your child" almost made Louis cry again. Right now, he realised, how fucked up he really was.  
"I can't. Not now, I'm sorry." Suddenly, Louis felt horribly tired and exhausted.  
Probably because of the lack of sleep, the chaos in his head and everything else he had to cope with.  
He was afraid, Harry would get angry again or left the room. But instead he lay down next Louis, his hand still resting on his back.  
"It's fine, Tommo. Just sleep now. You need your strength for the rest of the tour, no matter what."  
His voice was so near to Louis' ear that he could feel Harry's breathe in his neck.

"I'd like to sleep, believe me. But my head doesn't want me to", Louis tried to explain what happened inside his head.  
Harrys quiet laughter almost made Louis shiver.   
"Shut your head down, Louis, just close your eyes and breathe."  
Louis wanted to say, that this wasn't as easy, as it sounded, but when he really closed his eyes, knowing, that Harry was so close to him, it surprisingly seemed to work.  
Maybe it was out of relief, that Harry wasn't mad at him anymore, that he was here, with him. Maybe it was, because he was really so tired.

When he heard Harry's voice again, he allowed his muscles to relax.  
"You're never alone you idiot. You have your family, the lads, you have me. And you always had. Hell, I didn't like what you did on twitter and everything but it'd take much more than some bad tweets and the media running wild to make me turn away from you. Probably I never would. How could you ever think I wouldn't be there for you?"  
Louis didn't answer, but he knew, that Harry didn't want an answer anyway.

When he slowly felt asleep, he felt way better than before. Harry was still there with his hand on Louis' back and he was endlessly gratefull for that.


End file.
